hayley said that they’re sailing with seriously dedicated fans….
well excuuuuuse me, hun, but there is much dedicated fans who live in europe and who are poor. it makes some of the people sad
hello 911 I’m not on parahoy so I set myself on fire
do you ever get in those moods where you don’t feel like reading and you don’t feel like being on the internet and you don’t feel like watching a show and you don’t feel like sleeping and you don’t feel like existing in general
and there has been so much on my mind lately.
to be honest, i never blog unless there is something pressing me and I guess that’s where I am right now.
last year was brilliant. I can honestly say the people I met and the bonds I made made the year so much better. I felt successful and happy for the first time in a long time. it was so strange but so refreshing to feel that way because I needed that break.
this year is looking bleak.
i’m disappointed in myself and it’s purely reflecting off the fact that i’m so disappointed in others. I put so much value into people and I truly and honestly love them so much and would be there for them 100% and just when I think i’ve found that right person that I really connect with- they slip away. whether it’s because of simple words or it’s an unspoken coldness that you can never resolve.
i’m very disappointed because i feel like i will never find a good friend. i try so hard to do so much for people and yet get so little in return. i am that person that will stay with you till the morning just to talk, i will go where you want to go- if you want to travel i will travel, i will cover you when you need it and have your back through thick and thin but it’s sad because i want to share it with somebody but i have nobody. I have close friends who really don’t make much effort. you invite them out and they always have some excuse as to why they can’t make it and i’m so over it. if you’re my friend I want to see you other than seeing you at your house or over facebook. sometimes I feel like even when I talk to people online they barely have much to say to me. where did I ever go wrong.
I guess people think I have it lucky because I have found ‘love’ at my age which I am eternally grateful for. and he is always there for me and i appreciate that. but sometimes you just want a friend that is your friend, not your lover. I still can’t figure out if it’s selfish to want both. I guess people probably look at me and say I shouldn’t be complaining because most people want love, but tbh I don’t know any different because at the time I found the one I wanted, I was surrounded with so many amazing and genuine good people that I could consider my friends.
i dont know what happened
now when I think of the word ‘friend’ i come up blank
not even one
its just really sad